Thursday, September 3, 2015

a bit tired of being sick

i've been sick for about a month. being a diabetic with various mental illnesses, its a long frustrating experience to heal. first i caught the flu from the kids and then i wounded myself on the upper thigh, then i started a course of antibiotics for a month and after a month the wound has still not cleared up.i have noticed a massive change in my physical symptoms being more difficult to heal since i developed diabetes. i have fallen over twice in the last two weeks. i have arthritis in my knees, hips, spine and hands, and i am obese so combining these issue means i cant get up from being flat faced on the floor. i have had to call the ambulance twice in two weeks. they have been really professional and respectful and non judgmental which has helped me in the vulnerable position and dependence on people i don't know for what i consider an embarrassing problem.

my doctor added steroids to my list of pills and the pharmacist added a pill that helps speed skin problems and support good skin growth.and then i think another pill for something else. i feel really emotional and teary. and forgetful and really scared of disgreeing with jesse even though i asked him to be present at every health appointment i have . my mind tells me to control my thoughts without disclosing much and yet i have less and less power of independance every day. it feels like i am getting worse, i forget everything, i cant move around like i used to. i am so aggoraphobic i haven't stepped outside the front door for over five years, i get used to my mental illness, the hallucinations i recognise pretty quickly and i ignore them, the insomnia is pretty bad. i haven't slept in two nights. anyway i cant blog anymor, its does my head in to disclose so much but in some repectsits a blessing, a weight off my shoulders to share.

Jo xoxoxox 

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